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Women's Favorite Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?

Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the crap out of you.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.

What do you do with a headache?
You DUMP him!

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time!

What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won't stop to ask for directions.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They're usually intended for children, but it's the men who end up playing with them.

Why did God create a man before a women?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

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