bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos
Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the
bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need
dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of
magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the
valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your
vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing
handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly
room and close the door. As you show your guests through your
tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and
say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be
disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn
on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma
wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster
a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week
before that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the heart to
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four
cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave
in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw
yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean
and I still don't get anywhere..."
this page on to your friends!