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Simple rules for felines to live by...


  • Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is using the computer.

  • Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

  • Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

  • Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.

  • Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

  • Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

  • Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

  • Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap.

  • Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

  • Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

  • Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down.

  • Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

  • Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

  • Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

  • Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

  • Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

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